No Ordinary Life
by evans516
Summary: Alex Winchester was happy to put the past behind her when she joined the BAU. While this life was far from normal, it was much closer to normal than anything she ever had. What is she going to do though when past and present collide on a case?
1. California Dreamin'

**thanks for checking out my new story! it's going to just be a three (maybe four) part story crossing over criminal minds and supernatural...**

_California Dreamin'_

If there was one thing Alexandra "Alex" Winchester hated it was silence. Often the calm before the storm, silence left her excruciatingly waiting for what was to come, her mind playing over what awful thing could possibly happen next. Glancing over at the driver's seat she looked over her boyfriend Derek, hoping he would look over at her but he just kept his eyes on the road, hands on the wheel, jaw slightly clenched in agitation.

She knew that trip to Chicago was going to be a bad idea, from the moment he suggested it to her she knew something would blow up. It wasn't that meeting his mom and sisters was terrible. It was actually quite the opposite, they were perfectly lovely. And with her mom gone and no sisters of her own she had genuinely enjoyed herself. It was such a normal experience and normal wasn't something she often had growing up. That, coupled with what happened on the last night of their trip, was enough to put a wrinkle in what was an otherwise smooth relationship.

The last night of their trip he told her he loved her and it wasn't the first time.

He had moved in with her a few months ago, saying it for the first time then over take out and piles of boxes. She didn't say it back then but he brushed it off. People were often on different timelines with that word and he knew she had her share of issues so he let it go, telling her it was fine. Months had passed though, they were living together, she had just met his family in his hometown. And, when he said it this time, she still just stared at him. She had been grateful at least that the following morning they were still around his family, pretending like everything was ok. But once they hit the airport things turned icy; then once they landed in DC, completely silent.

"Are you ever gonna talk to me again?" Alex asked him once they were inside. Maybe the argument was going to be bad but it was better than waiting.

"Am I doing something wrong?" Derek asked her seriously; not where she expected this to go, but ok.

"No," she told him softly.

"Are you unhappy?" he asked now.

"No," she answered quickly; that was the truth. This was the happiest she could ever remember being.

"Then what is it?" he asked directly. "Why can't you say it?" She wasn't prepared for this.

There were a million reasons she couldn't say it, the main reason being that she wasn't able to tell him the whole truth about her, he didn't know everything there was to know about her and her family. How could she possibly be in love with someone and plan a life with them when she spent most of her time keeping secrets from him?

"I'm sorry if your ego is bruised," she tried to deflect, to buy herself time to think up what to tell him.

There were two people on her team that knew the truth about her; her boss, Aaron Hotchner and her long time family friend Dave Rossi. Knowing she wanted out of her hunting life and to do something "more legit" as she put it, Rossi put her up for the job; he knew her since she was a child, having served with her dad in Vietnam. There were a few units that were looking for people like her, people with her background to help identify cases with a supernatural aspect rather than your typical unsub as well as mediate and cover for hunters that were already on the case. Her role was strictly need to know. After all, who would believe they were hiring supernatural hunters to work alongside profilers?

"It's not my ego that's bruised Al," he informed her.

"I get it, ok?" Alex said now. "And I get that it must suck for you, but I can't..." More than anything did she want to be able to say that word.

"What?" Derek asked her, gentler than before; silence. "Baby, you gotta give me something, all right? I don't do this," he said, motioning to the door. "I don't take girlfriends to meet my mom and sisters."

"I got that impression," she murmured as his sisters had been teasing him about how much he must like her when they thought she wasn't listening. She realized how much worse it must have been for him then when she didn't say _I love you_ back.

"Alex," he said as she sat down at their kitchen counter, going to stand closer to her. "You can tell me anything."

_No, I can't_, she mentally argued. He would never believe her, not in a million years. She had seen this scenario play out before with her brother Dean and a girl he had been seeing Cassie; she broke up with him and said he was crazy. Her and her younger brother Sam took a different approach with the people they dated; they told them nothing. She wasn't sure how it was going for Sam at the moment but it was probably going a lot better for him than for her.

"We," Alex started but wasn't sure where she was gonna go yet. "We...see people, all the time. People that are screwed up from how they were raised."

"I know that," he said gently, watching her keep a steady gaze towards the counter.

"After my mom died," she continued. "I um..." She shook her head. "I could probably count on one hand the number of times the four of us ever said _I love you_. Like the four of us combined," she clarified. "I guess...some where along the line I stopped being able to say it."

"...ok," Derek quietly accepted that.

He knew that there were major issues with her family. Her mom died when she was a kid and it set her dad off in ways she would never fully explained. All he knew was that she didn't talk to him or her twin brother Dean; she would occasionally talk to her younger brother Sam on the phone but that was about it. There were no pictures around the house, she never told stories about them when they were younger. If it hadn't been for the fact she knew Rossi for so long many on the team might not even know the rest of her family even existed.

"That doesn't mean I don't...feel it," Alex went on to explain; and that was true. "I just can't..." She felt like she was going to throw up. "Derek, I'm sorry."

"It's ok," he told her.

"It's not," she reasoned.

"No, it is," he promised. "You don't...you don't have to say it. I just want us to be on the same page. That's all."

"Ok," Alex agreed, though she knew he wasn't one hundred percent ok. "What if I called Sam tomorrow," she offered. "Thanksgiving is in a few weeks...maybe he could come here."

"Yeah?" Derek asked.

"Yeah," Alex nodded. "I met your family, you should meet at least some of mine."

"Ok," he smiled, kissing her now. "Yeah, that sounds great."

"I've never made Thanksgiving before," she warned him with a smile.

"I've been warned then," he grinned at her, kissing her again. "C'mon, we've got an early morning tomorrow."

"Mmmm, back to work," she groaned.

"Back to work," he agreed, taking her hand.

* * *

"Soooo," Garcia was grinning at Alex that morning, catching her alone at the office getting her coffee. "How was the trip?"

"It was good," Alex said. "Good, it was fun." She spotted Rossi coming closer, thankful someone would be able to break up this asking about the trip. She still felt a little too raw about the whole thing.

"How was meeting momma Morgan?" she questioned.

"It was really nice," Alex told her. It had been the truth, it was just the after stuff that messed things up.

"I've gotta go set up," Garcia told her as they had a case already that morning. "But, I wanna hear all about it later."

"You got it," Alex said as she watched her go, leaning back against the counter as Rossi was pouring himself coffee.

"How bad?" he asked her as she sipped her coffee.

"Know me so well?" she quipped lightly.

"I am your god father," he reminded her and she shrugged, not sure what to say.

"It was fine," she admitted. "His mom was great, Sarah and Desiree were both really sweet."

"And then?" Rossi questioned.

"And then I got an L bomb dropped on me," Alex informed him.

"Ah," he nodded.

"Yeah, I barely navigated the last one," she reminded him. "And I still can't say it," she tacked on, finishing her coffee and setting the cup in the sink. "So, Sam doesn't know it yet, but he's coming here for Thanksgiving," she said with a fake smile; Sam was probably going to kill her.

"I'm sure he'll be thrilled about that," Rossi told her.

"Yeah, well get excited Uncle Dave," Alex smirked at him. "You're hosting."

"Rossi, Winchester," Reid said before Rossi could make a comment back about hosting Thanksgiving. "Ready?"

"Yeah," she nodded, following her uncle and Reid to the BAU room where the others were slowly filing in. Before she had a chance to look at the file at her seat her phone lit up with a phone number she didn't recognize. It only rang once before it hung up.

_Please don't ring again_, she silently begged. And sure enough it did. Unable to deal with this now, she hit ignore.

"Who is it?" Reid asked simply, sitting next to her. Derek and Hotch weren't there yet, talking about something in Hotch's office about their last case. Reid was probably the one on the team she was closest too, besides Derek and her uncle of course; she often told him he reminded her of her younger brother.

"Ah, my brother," she said and the phone lit up again with the number, not contact name assigned to it; she ignored it again.

"You sure?" he asked and Rossi was giving her a look from across the table.

"It's this thing my dad used to do," Alex explained, tucking a piece of her honey brown hair behind her ear. "Whenever he was gone for work he would call once, hang up, and call again so we knew it was him." She shrugged. "We do it now when we change numbers so we don't think." She stopped, hitting ignore again. "It's a random or telemarketer or something."

"That's smart," he offered nicely.

"Yeah, if leaving two nine year olds in charge of a five-" She stopped when it rang again, her green eyes flashing agitation.

"Answer it," Rossi told her seriously just as Derek and Hotch were coming in; they picked up on the tone.

"Everything ok?" Hotch asked.

"Can I?" Alex asked nodding at her phone and he nodded, knowing with what Rossi said it was probably something related to her past as a hunter. "Hello?" she asked as she got up from her seat. _It's fine_, she mouthed out to Derek as she was leaving the room; with her brother though she was sure it was far from fine.

_"Nice of you to finally answer,"_ Dean told her sarcastically on the other end.

"I'm at work Dean," she rolled her eyes, walking out the door.

_"What?"_

"Work, that grown up thing I do," she informed him, shutting the door behind her.

"Days I'm glad I'm an only child," Prentiss commented to lighten the mood.

"Same," Reid agreed, though he caught Derek's expression. "She said it's fine Morgan, I'm sure it is." Down the hall, Alex had let herself into Rossi's office so no one else would hear her on the phone.

"What is it Dean?" Alex asked, already exhausted.

_"I'm with Sam,"_ Dean started off.

"What, why?" Alex asked worriedly. Sam and Dean were together? The last she talked to Sam before her Chicago trip he had gotten his LSAT score back and was prepping for his interview the following week. What time was it even out there?

_"I can't find dad,"_ Dean said now._ "He was working a job in Jericho, I picked Sam up. I need you to meet us out here."_

"Are you serious?" Alex asked with an eye roll.

_"What?"_

"I thought it was something urgent," she informed him.

_"Did you miss the part where I can't find dad?"_ he asked her sarcastically.

"How many times has he been missing? And how many times has he shown up when it works out for him?" she asked. "I can't anyway, I have work."

_"Skip it,"_ Dean said simply.

"Yeaaaaah, I'll do that," Alex told him. "I'll skip out on my job at the FBI."

_"I thought the point of Dave getting you that job was so that you could still hunt,"_ Dean told her.

"I don't hunt Dean," she said in exasperation as she had to explain this to him many times before. "I identify..." She stopped, shaking her head. "No, you know what, no. I'm not doing this."

_"Why not?"_ her brother demanded.

"Because I have a life here," she told him. "A _normal_ life," she emphasized. "I have a job, I have a boyfriend, I live in a freaking townhouse," she listed for him.

_"Well then,"_ her brother said sarcastically. _"Don't let your family keep you from it."_

"You're not going to," she started off then stopped when she saw Derek in the doorway of the office, nodding that it was time to go. "I'm not going to feel guilty about this."

_"Which is what most guilty people say,"_ Dean tacked on.

"Goodbye Dean," she said seriously, hanging up her phone.

"Everything all right?" Derek asked her, coming further into the office.

"Ah, as far as I'm concerned," Alex assured him, knowing she wasn't going to get away with a full blown lie. "My, um, my brother can't find my dad."

"That doesn't sound all right," he said seriously, looking at her in concern.

"My dad always tears off when he's on a bender," Alex lied. Probably the thing she felt worst about was making it sound like her dad was an alcoholic; that really wasn't fair to John. She was pretty sure that's the lie Sam used too, but that didn't really make her feel better. "He always comes back."

"If it's a family emergency Al, I'm sure Hotch would let you-"

"Yeah, but I don't want to," she stopped him. "I...I walked away from all that. I really don't want anything to do with it," she finished.

"Ok," Derek agreed hesitantly though he couldn't help but think there was more to it. "Well, we've gotta head out," he nodded, which she had suspected, following him into the hall now.

"Where are we headed?" she asked as they were walking.

"Ah, Jericho, California," he recalled for her.

"...what?" Alex asked. He couldn't possibly be serious right now.

"Yeah, I hadn't heard of it before either," he agreed, not getting why she was so thrown off. "It's outside the San Fran area I guess. Anyway, you can read more of the file on the flight but there's been a string of missing persons. Same stretch of road over the last few years. Most recent one was last night."

"Huh," she nodded along, successfully hiding the fact that she felt like she was going to throw up. He obviously didn't realize it, but he was going to be meeting her brothers sooner than she planned.

"You ready?" he asked as they got outside.

"As I'll ever be," she smiled, with him still not picking up that something was wrong.

**thanks for reading! what do you think so far? please let me know! :)**


	2. When You Were Young

**thanks so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites! to all of you now following the story i would LOVE to hear what you think of this update!**

**here's part 2!**

_When You Were Young_

Alex had tried furiously to reach her brothers as she and her team made their way to Jericho but got no answer. She knew either one of two things was happening. Either they were ignoring her because they were angry; or, more likely, Dean was going to show up on her crime scene on purpose. Thankfully she was at least able to alert Rossi and Hotch to what was going on. In her time with the team she only had two encounters with other hunters on a cases, easily navigating around them without drawing much attention to the situation. She knew it wouldn't be far from easy with her brothers though.

"When was the last time you saw Dean?" Rossi was asking her as they were alone on the bridge looking over the victim's car. The others were there though dispersed, allowing them to talk privately. Hotch was talking to the local police while Prentiss, Derek, and Reid walked around the rest of the bridge to look for clues.

"Ah, saw?" Alex asked as she had the driver's door open, head in the car. "Like a year and a half." Rossi knew that was about the time she started with the BAU.

"And talked?" he questioned now.

"This morning," she quipped and she spotted him giving her a look. She wondered if it was a marine thing because her dad gave her that look a lot. "Six months." Rossi knew that was around the time Derek moved in with her. Both he and Hotch were aware that Alex would often sneak cases out of JJ's office, taking the ones she suspected were of a supernatural cause and sending them to other hunters, typically her brother. She stopped abruptly though once she and Derek were getting more serious, wanting as little to do with that life as possible.

"Have you thought of what you're going to say?" he asked.

"Guess it depends on who's around," she said lightly as her conversation with Dean in front of him would be much different than their conversation in front of Derek or Reid.

"Might wanna start thinking about it," he informed her and she bolted up right, looking past the car to where her two brothers indeed were, and they were talking to her boyfriend.

"Son of a bitch," Alex muttered, slamming the car door, maybe more than she should have.

"What are you going to-" Rossi started off.

"No idea," she told him, walking away._ Not something to wing Winchester_, she mentally scolded herself but there she was, walking right on over and stopping at Derek's side. "What's going on?" she asked, looking between the three of them. Dean maintained his poker face; Sam's eyes got a little wider at the sight of her but he quickly settled.

"I guess they got marshals on this too," Derek was saying in confusion. Surely someone would have given them a heads up about it; they had just got there, why were more people being called in?

"Oh," she nodded coolly. "Hey, look, can you go check out the car with Rossi, see if there's anything I'm missing? I've got this."

"You sure?" he questioned her. After all, he wasn't sure he bought that these guys were marshals as the one looked like he couldn't be any older than Reid. Something wasn't sitting right with him but there wasn't anything hard for him to question; after all, their IDs looked legitimate.

"Yeah, this is the kind of thing JJ would have handled so," she said, reminding him how she was covering JJ's duties while she was on maternity leave.

"All right," he nodded in agreement, leaving her to it.

"I tried texting you both," she told them, keeping her voice low. Sam reached for his pocket but realized his phone wasn't there.

"Dude," Sam shook his head at Dean, indicating he stole it.

"What?" Dean asked innocently. Alex had figured as much, that her brother would want to show up and stir up some trouble in her life.

"This isn't funny Dean, this is my _life_," Alex emphasized for him.

"It's kinda funny," he smirked at her.

"You're an ass," she accused him.

"Everything all right?" Hotch asked, coming over now.

"Sam, Dean, this is my boss Aaron Hotchner," she introduced them. "Hotch, these are my brothers."

"Does anyone else," Sam started off after politely greeting her boss.

"No," Alex stopped him. "And it needs to stay this way." Dean scoffed at her. "Dean, I'm serious, I-"

"We'll take what we have to the police station," Hotch was intervening, knowing Alex's real job there needed to be a secret for as long as they could keep it. "If you two want to look around here, uninterrupted."

"Unless there's anything here about our dad," Dean said, trailing off as he looked to his sister; she just shook her head. "We're gonna head over to the motel then, see what he was working on."

"Careful," Alex emphasized to him.

"Back at ya," Dean said with some sarcasm, turning to leave. Sam gave her an apologetic look before going to catch up with their brother.

"You all right?" Hotch asked politely.

"Mmm, this is the first time the three of us have been together in four years," Alex said in frustration. "I have no idea what to do," she admitted to him.

"Figuring our way out of here is going to be our first move," he assured her. Like in the two cases before when they encountered hunters figuring out how to leave the case without any real resolution was always the most difficult part. After all, how do you drag your team in for a case just to leave without answers? They always managed though without real suspicion.

"And then?" she asked as Derek and Rossi were coming over now; he gave her a look of uncertainty.

"We'll figure it out," he assured her softly.

* * *

"We've got over a dozen vics," Morgan was saying, their pictures all pinned up on a board in front of them. They all sat around a big desk in the main room of the small station, with Garcia on speaker in the middle. "Different ages, different jobs, different everything." They were frustrated as they tried to find a connection.

"Dating all the way back to 1982," Reid tacked on, brow conveying confusion. He glanced over to Alex who was playing with the cap on her pen. "What?" he asked; Rossi was looking at her too, though he knew her hunter wheels were turning.

"Garcia," Alex was saying now, staring at the board still. "Are these all the deaths from Centennial Highway?"

_"These not gory enough for you,"_ Garcia said lightly though she was completely serious; they could hear her fingers furiously typing. _"That's all I got for you hun, disappearances presumed murdered."_

"...what about suicides?" Alex asked now; she caught the series of weird looks she was getting from her team members but she brushed it off.

_"I don't know what that has to do with..."_ Garcia started but trailed off. _"Well, my dear, looks like we've got one. Constance Welch, died 1981."_ She stopped as she read more. _"Oh,"_ she said sadly.

"What?" Alex asked.

_"Before she died she called 911,"_ she explained. _"She had been giving her kids a bath, she left two seconds, and when she came back..."_ She couldn't finish.

"Explains why she did it," Prentiss murmured.

_And what she is_, Alex commented internally. She needed to reach her brothers, hearing someone saying something about how this didn't connect to these cases at all. She wasn't going to comment yet, needing to let Dean know what she found out. Unfortunately though, Dean was there in the police station just as she was thinking about him. Even worse, he was in handcuffs.

"What's going on?" Rossi was asking as one of the officers took Dean into the next room.

"Got a call from the motel owner about a credit card scam," the sheriff was explaining and Alex had to try not to shake her head. "Got there and spotted our US Marshals from this morning," he said with an eye roll. "Well, one of them," he added on. "Not sure where the other one is, and the room they were in was rented out by an older guy." He shook his head. "Got all those pictures there," he motioned to the board. "And a whole lot of other satanic looking-"

"Maybe Rossi and I could check out the room," Hotch was saying now to stop him and the sheriff just shrugged.

"Suit yourself," he nodded at the door. Alex hoped, of course, that Rossi would try reaching Sam while they were out.

"Garcia, I'm gonna send you the names, can you see if the cards have been used anywhere else?" Hotch was saying.

_"On it!"_ she assured him, hanging up the phone.

"Winchester, maybe you want to see if you can talk to him," Rossi was adding as they prepared to leave, passing her the motel records. "Since you talked to him before," he added on.

"Sure," Alex nodded, maintaining her calm exterior though she was surprised her hands weren't shaking.

"Oh, we also found this," the sheriff said now, tossing a leather bound book onto the table. Alex felt her heart stop as her dad never went anywhere without it. Maybe Dean was right, maybe something was wrong. "I can hardly make out any of it if any of you want to take a stab at it," he motioned and Reid picked it up, the fastest reader in the bunch. Needing out of that space Alex went into the next room to talk to her brother, though that didn't bring her much relief. The wall separating the two rooms had a window, the blinds pulled open; she wished there was a way she could discreetly close them but she knew she couldn't.

"Nice to see you again," he commented to her; he noticed two members of her team in the window, Derek and Prentiss, while Reid had started skimming the journal at the table.

"You too," she said sarcastically, sitting across from him. "Mr...Afranian," she said finally, reading the name off the record. She gave him a look and he shrugged. "Didn't anyone teach you how to run a believable credit card scam?"

"Where's your imagination," he told her with a smirk.

"I'm not going to waste my time," she informed him. "I know it wasn't you, or at least not all you. The first murder took place when you were a kid so..." She motioned to him. "They know that room belonged to an older man, where is he?" He knew she was just buying time, that she would ultimately make sure he got out of this.

"If I only knew," he said back. He was worried, Alex could tell; now that she had seen the journal she was worried too.

In the next room though they couldn't hear exactly what was being said, Derek and Prentiss knew that it was tense in there. The more he was around this guy the less Derek felt right about the whole situation. Something was wrong he and he was sure Prentiss knew it too. He glanced over at her and Prentiss had a look he couldn't quite place. Confusion, concern?

"What is it?" he asked her, turning his attention away from the interrogation.

"I don't know," Prentiss said, not tearing her eyes away from the window.

"Emily," he urged her and by his tone and use of her first name she knew he might be thinking the same thing.

"Am I crazy, or does that guy seem familiar?" she asked. "Not like we've met him before but..." She couldn't place it. "His _eyes_," she stated now.

"Lots of people have green eyes Prentiss," Derek murmured; maybe he was thinking the same thing but it was harder for him to admit.

"Two percent of the world population," Reid chimed in, eyes still scanning the journal. "So, about 150 million-"

"I get it," she told him. "But it's not the color, it's the expression," she said, motioning back to the window. "His mannerisms, the way he talks." Reid hadn't been paying the suspect too much mind so he looked at her curiously. "We see them every day with Winchester."

"Prentiss," Reid started off, setting the journal down for the first time. "For someone to share mannerisms like that they-"

"Would have to be raised together," Derek finished for him.

"You don't actually think that's one of her brothers," Reid half laughed and the other two looked at him seriously. "...ok," he said, not sure what to make out of that.

"Are you finding anything in there?" Derek asked as he sat next to Reid, Prentiss keeping an eye on the interrogation.

"Ah, that the person who wrote it needs serious help," Reid said, about halfway through. "It's like a how to manual for killing monsters."

"Monsters?" Derek asked in confusion and Reid nodded.

"It's got exorcisms, how to track certain monsters and kill them," Reid listed, turning another page. "Look, I know you know next to nothing about her family," Reid was saying, his tone gentle. "But, that doesn't mean-"

"What's that?" Derek asked, nodding towards the front inside cover; the corner contained a set of initials.

"Probably the owner's," Reid shrugged. "JW?"

"Her dad's first name is John," Derek said, knowing that much. Prentiss was seeming even more convinced while Reid continued to pull back.

"Morgan, come on," Reid was saying. "You're worried about her brother calling earlier, this is just..." He wasn't sure what to say. "A manual, a journal of a crazy person."

"When does the journal start?" Derek asked and Reid gave him a look. "Reid."

"1983," he answered. "And before you say anything, I know." Prentiss was giving a look now. "It's the year her mom died," Reid explained to her.

"Mom died, dad goes insane," Derek motioned the journal. "She never talks about her family because of this."

"This is _extremely_ circumstantial," Reid reminded him. "After all, if that is her brother it means not only is she lying but so is Rossi." Derek stopped, not having thought of Rossi in all of this. Maybe his mind was getting carried away with him, that he wanted answers on her family so badly, especially after what happened the last few days. It didn't explain Prentiss also seeing the similarities though.

"Is there anything else in there?" Derek was asking.

"It's just more of the same," Reid said in exasperation, flipping through the pages quickly to the back. Once he was to the back cover though he spotted a picture tucked inside. He tugged on it gently to examine it.

"What's that?" Derek asked, taking it to look himself, Prentiss coming to look over his shoulder. It was a photo of a young family sitting outside of a house. There was a mom holding a new baby and a dad holding two small children about four years old, one in each arm. They all smiled big, looking oh so happy. Derek had seen the mother's smile before; it was the one his girlfriend often expressed. Her and the guy in the room had the same eyes; her and this woman had the same smile.

"Um...Morgan?" Reid was saying now, getting his attention. He had been so focused on the older picture he hadn't see that there had been another one tucked further away. Reid passed it to him tentatively, knowing this was going to go badly.

There they were, Alex and the two guys he had met earlier on the bridge. The one he had suspected was around Reid's age stood in the middle in a graduation cap and gown. The older of the two guys stood next to him, holding Alex's legs as she had hopped up onto his back. _Dean, Alex, & Sam_, the back read. _2001_. It must have been Sam's high school graduation.

"Morgan, don't," Prentiss was warning him as he dropped the picture to the table, getting up and going over to the door. He wouldn't be stopped, both she and Reid knowing better than to try.

"I don't know why you're continuing to lie for him," Alex was saying to Dean as the door burst open, both their heads snapping in that direction.

"Can I see you?" Derek was saying to her urgently. She couldn't place what could possibly be wrong. Maybe a bigger break in the case? She didn't know what that could be though.

"Ah, sure," she nodded, getting up from her seat and following him quickly, shutting the door behind her and leaving her brother locked to the table. "What's going." She stopped cold as he held out a picture for her to take, taking it from his hands, knowing she was busted. There it was, the picture from the last time they were all together.

"Is that your brother in there?" Derek was asking her; he needed to hear it from her directly. Though he had seen it with his own eyes he still couldn't believe this. Her brothers were there, they had been standing right there in front of him on that bridge and she came over and just lied to his face to get him away from them. "Al," he said insistently.

"I think we both already know that answer to that," she murmured, placing the picture to the side on the table.

"What is going on?" he demanded. He could see in her eyes that she was scared and the truth was that she was, though he didn't realize she was afraid of telling him the truth. "Look, baby," he said, coming down a little and being softer. "If you don't tell me, I can't help."

"...help?" Alex asked in confusion. What on earth was he going to help her with?

"Are you scared of him?" Derek asked worriedly. "Reid read your dad's journal, if you're scared of them or..." His mind was scrambling for a logical reason she wouldn't tell him who they were. "Did they hurt you? Because I'll-"

"No," Alex said, a little defensive. She disagreed with her family on a lot but her dad and brothers would never harm her.

"Then _what_ is it?" Derek asked, exhaustion in his voice.

**thanks for reading! i really hope you liked it, please please let me know what you thought! :)**


	3. Life in the Fast Lane

**thanks for reviewing, i'm glad you all liked the last update! i've decided there's going to be four parts to this story instead of 3 like i initially said...enjoy!**

**Part 3!**

_Life in the Fast Lane_

"Alex," Derek was saying to her. He had just asked her what was going on but she still couldn't answer him. What on earth could she say to him? They had already gone through her dad's journal and decided that he had lost his mind. How was she supposed to tell them that everything in that journal was the truth? "What the..." she heard him saying, looking behind her.

"He asked a question Alex," Dean motioned to her and she rolled her eyes, cursing herself for leaving the file folder on the counter; he must have used the paper clip to free himself.

"Why?" Alex snapped at him. Over the last few days she felt herself getting pushed closer and closer to the edge between dealing with the incident in Chicago and now all this with her family. Her brother coming out of that room now didn't just nudge her over the edge though, he'd basically picked her up and thrown her over the side. "Why, _why_ are you like this?!" she asked, shoving him.

"You and Sam," he shook his head at her. "You need to be honest with yourselves, that's why."

"Yeah, Mr. Afranian," she said sarcastically. "Honesty really is the best policy, isn't it?"

"They don't know anything about you, the _real_ you," he informed her. "Your friends, your boyfriend," he motioned to Derek now and her brow furrowed as she had never told him or acted like Derek was her boyfriend; she really wanted to leave that aspect out of all of this. "Oh please, it doesn't take a _profiler_ to figure that out," he said, mocking her.

"Screw you Dean," she told him with another shove, neither of them paying attention to much else. Not speaking for six months had put a huge strain on them and something had finally broken.

"You feel better?" he asked sarcastically, raising his eye brows at her. She shoved him again, alternating with hitting him as well, some landing as slaps while others were punches; she had just had enough. Dean wouldn't ever hit her back but he did try to catch her or at least push her away from him. She felt someone's arms around her, pulling her back. She thought maybe Derek but then...

"How old are you two?" Rossi was snapping at them as he was next to Dean now; Sam had been the one with his arms around her.

"Let go of me," she murmured as she yanked away from her younger brother though he was hardly the one she was angry with.

"Alex," Rossi was saying to her now, noting the looks around the room. It was very obvious that now was the time to come clean, that her role was going to have to come out. There were no more lies to tell, no more excuses to make. She looked to Derek now who was a mix between confused and concerned.

"Come here," she said, motioning for him to follow her into the room where her brother had been. Maybe the secret needed to come out, but she also needed to talk to him alone first; this time after closing the door she also closed the blinds.

"What is going on Al?" he asked her again, even more confused than before.

"Derek," she started off, struggling. It was only fair that he hear it first and from her, but she had no idea where to start with him.

"What was he saying that I don't know the real you?" he was asking now. "What was all of that?" He had never seen her get like that, how she snapped at her brother and they started fighting.

"You're never going to believe me," she said softly.

"Try me," he was challenging her at this point. There was a major secret at play here and while he wanted to help and protect her he couldn't help but feel that she had been playing him this entire time.

"I know who's been killing those men," she said quickly.

"You do?" he questioned, not sure what that had to do with all this but he would take what he could get from her at this point. Maybe this was her way of admitting to him what her dad was up to.

"Constance Welch," she answered, studying his expression; still just confusion.

"...that woman that killed herself?" he asked now and she nodded. "What, do you think she faked her death, then-"

"No, I think she's dead," she assured him. "The stuff in my dad's journal...it's real Derek." He was quiet a moment.

"You," he started off with a weird laugh, thinking she was messing with him though he had no idea why right now; her face was deadly serious though. "You're not serious," he accused her.

"Unfortunately, I am," she told him, trying to gauge his reaction. He clearly didn't believe her but he also wasn't sure what to make of what she was saying. The only thing he was able to do was stare at her. "...can you say something?" she nearly begged.

"What do you want me to say Alex?" he asked her. "You just tried to tell me ghosts are real."

"They are," she reinforced for him.

"Baby," he shook his head at her. By his tone he had clearly settled on thinking she was crazy, which almost actually made her crazy. "I don't know what your dad had you believing growing up or-"

"Don't profile me!" she stopped him. "I know, ok? I get it. Why do you think I never told you about any of this," she said as she motioned to the door. "Why do you think I got this job? I never talk about college or my time at the academy because I didn't go," she informed him. "I never went, all right? Rossi is good and can pull strings but come on," she challenged him.

"...no," he told her.

"No? No what?" she questioned.

"No, I don't believe this," he informed her; she felt her blood freeze. "I don't know what you're trying to hide for them or..." He wasn't sure what was going on. Did her dad and brothers really kill those people? Is that what she was hiding and now she was telling this ridiculous story to try to cover for them?

"If you don't believe me, ask Rossi and Hotch," she said, going and opening the door. She had wanted to handle this herself, she wanted them to be able to talk just the two of them, but she was getting frustrated. To be fair though, she couldn't have ever expected that he would just take her at her word. At this point, she needed back up.

"Where are they?" Derek was asking immediately as the first thing he noticed was that her brothers, their only suspects, were gone.

"I sent them back to the motel room," Rossi answered calmly.

"What, why?" he demanded. Now, he was just getting agitated. The only logical explanation was that her dad and brothers were involved in this. They acted like they were Marshals, inserting themselves in the case to see what the BAU knew. Alex was lying for some unknown reason to protect people she never spoke to. And now Rossi was going along with this? What, because of his connection to this family?

"He doesn't believe me," Alex was saying to Rossi and Hotch now, though that was certainly obvious. Derek looked at his other two team members, Prentiss and Reid, taking in their looks of disbelief. If he looked in the mirror he was sure he would be wearing the same expression.

"I let them go so they could keep investigating the case," Rossi told him.

"They _are_ the case," Derek was saying. How was he the only sane person left in this room? "Hotch?" he asked, looking for him to say something, anything.

"I think it would help if we stayed on the case as well," he was saying. Now Alex was the one looking around in disbelief but she wasn't sure what she had been expecting. After all, it wasn't like they could just leave now. Judging by the air in the room she knew that he and Rossi told the others why she had been brought into the team. It was also clear they weren't sure what to believe.

"Ok," Alex said. "Fine." She grabbed a set of keys from the table. "Who's coming with me?"

"Where are you even going?" Derek was asking her now. Who was this person standing in front of him? It certainly wasn't the woman he had been dating for the last year, living with for the last six months. No, this was someone else, someone who had serious secrets she kept from him. And, at this point, seemingly major issues.

"It's starting to get dark now," she said, noting how the sun was going down early as it was late fall. "I figured the bridge would be a good place to start."

"We already combed over that thing," he argued with her. "What do you expect to find in the dark?"

"Honestly?" she asked him before motioning to the board where someone had stuck Constance's picture since she had brought up the suicide earlier.

"Alex," he tried to argue with her. She wasn't being rational. There was no reason for them to go out there.

"Look, you don't get to demand answers and then when I offer them turn away," she told him in frustration. "Are you coming or not?" The looks he was getting from the older team members were telling him that he had to go but he had no grasp on why. Maybe to keep her safe? Was that what they were doing, going along with it so Alex wouldn't think she was crazy? Playing into the fantasy so they could eventually convince her it wasn't real?

"Fine," he gave in.

"Anyone else?" Alex asked, looking between the other two.

"I'm in," Reid was telling her; at least he seemed friendlier about it. Maybe he didn't believe in the supernatural, but she was choosing to believe he was treating this like something he could learn from, rather than just going along to see how crazy she and her family were.

"Em?" Alex was asking her.

"Ah, I don't know," she was saying, shaking her head. She was hesitant, but not in the same way Derek was. Maybe she knew something about this life, maybe she had seen something in the past, maybe she was just easier to convince. Either way, Alex got a read on her expression.

"It's fine," Alex promised, not making her say it; she believed Alex. "We'll be back then," she said now, leaving the police station with Derek and Reid.

* * *

The ride back to the bridge was painfully silent, not unlike the ride home from the airport the night before. It was hard to believe that was a much simpler time in her life, so much easier than what she was up against now. The one difference tonight seemed to be that Alex was the one angrily gripping the steering wheel, though Derek still had his same agitated look. That, and Reid was sitting in the back seat, occasionally spewing facts about the supernatural that he learned in some anthropology class he had to take. She at least appreciated his attempts at easing the tension.

"What did you say you thought this was Alex?" Spencer was asking.

"A woman in white," Alex said as they turned onto the road that would eventually lead to the bridge.

"...oh," Spencer said with a bit of a face. "So, you think that she..."

"Yep," Alex nodded.

"Do I get to be in on this?" Derek asked, a bit annoyed. Alex turned to look at him, as she slowed her driving.

"Do you believe me?" she asked him and he didn't say anything. "A woman in white is a type of spirit," she explained as she parked the car now. She could see her brother's car sitting at the other end of the bridge, seeing their figures standing over that way. "They can be anywhere, but they all have the same story." She stopped when she could hear her brothers starting to argue.

"Which is..." Derek said though he trailed off as she hopped out of the car to go break her brothers up.

"They find out their husband's are cheating on them, so they kill their kids then themselves," Reid informed him. "After that, they haunt road ways and kill unfaithful men."

"Naturally," Derek said sarcastically, getting out of the car now as well, both he and Reid spotting Dean shoving Sam against the bridge by his shirt.

"Hey, that's enough!" Alex said, prying them apart from each other.

"Don't talk about mom like that," Dean was saying to him as Alex pushed him further away.

"He was a _baby_ when it happened, give him a break," Alex was snapping at her twin. Derek figured her mother's death sparked all this fascination with the supernatural within the family. That was when her dad's journal started at least. Whatever had happened it certainly sent this family on a downward spiral.

"Oh yeah?" Dean asked. Derek and Reid felt a bit on the outside again, much like when Alex and Dean broke out in their fight back at the station. With no knowledge of her family or really her history there wasn't much else to do other than watch from the sidelines. "What's your excuse then?"

"Do no do this right now," she ordered. "I am fighting for my life right now Dean, for my relationship."

"It's more than you did for us," he motioned between him and Sam.

"Oh come off it," she rolled her eyes at him. "What, because I didn't want to hunt anymore?"

"No, because you get this new job," Dean told her. "This new life, this new boyfriend," he motioned to the side. "That I don't get to meet or hear anything about ever. I mean seriously Alex, you're my twin sister."

"Guys," Reid was saying as he noticed first. The only one to look at first was Derek who was stunned speechless. There standing on the railing of the bridge was the woman from the article; Constance Welch. There was no possible way...

"Not everybody wants this," she informed her brother as she had ignored Reid, though she did feel the twist of guilt that Dean felt like she had just cut him out of her life. "And that's why I hid it, because not everyone can handle-"

"GUYS!" Sam broke them up now and they turned to look just in enough time to see Constance disappear over the side. The five of them ran over to the edge to see, all evidence of her gone, not even a disturbance in the water.

"We should get out of here now," Alex said as her point seemed to be pretty safely proven; at this point, nothing good could come from them staying there. That was when they heard Dean's car starting down at the other end of the bridge.

"Who's driving your car?" Reid was asking now as nothing really seemed to sink in yet; it was all surreal.

"Ah, kid?" Dean said as he held up his car keys.

The next second or two were a complete blur as the five of them took off sprinting down the bridge, out running the car that chased them. Alex felt someone grabbing her arm and pulling, rolling off to the side with them and she realized it was Derek as she was laying next to him, both of them out of breath. The car had stopped at the railing and she squeezed her eyes shut to gather her thoughts.

"Hey, Winchester?!" Reid was calling from where he was also laying on the bridge, having fallen to the opposite side of the car to avoid it.

"Yeah?" she called back.

"I believe you," he informed her, still out of breath.

"...ok," she nodded as she sat up slowly, getting up before offering a hand to Derek to help him stand; he didn't say anything but he clearly believed her now too. She couldn't say anything to him yet though as her brother shouting interrupted her thoughts.

"DEAN!" Sam was shouting over the side of the bridge.

"Oh my God," Alex said, rushing over to the side.

"Here, come here," Derek was saying to her brother, offering his hand to help him back over the side.

"Did he go over?!" Alex was panicking.

"I haven't seen him since he slipped," Sam was saying, both of them leaning over, eyes frantically searching in the dark.

"DEAN!" she shouted now.

"...yeah?" Dean said having come back up the bridge, covered in mud.

"Don't scare me like that!" Alex shouted as she let out a breath of relief at the same time. "Holy hell," she sighed, looking him over. "Are you hurt?"

"Gonna hurt tomorrow," he told her, going to check on his car.

"Car all right?" Sam asked. Derek and Reid were in complete disbelief as the Winchesters just went about like things were normal, as if they hadn't just been chased down a bridge by a car that was driving itself.

"Yeah, it think it's ok now," he was saying, leaning back against it. "That Constance chick, what a bitch!"

"Yeah, provoke her," Alex told him though she couldn't be angry if she tried, just happy they were all ok; she noticed her brother smirk. "...what?" she asked hesitantly.

"You missed this," Dean said, not asking but just stating.

"No," she just shook her head.

"You know I know when you're lying," Dean reminded her. As her twin he was basically her human lie detector. There was a certain rush that came with hunting, she couldn't deny that.

"Settle for me missing you?" she offered and he shrugged, accepting this. "You riding back with us?"

"Back where?" Dean asked.

"I'm taking them back to the station," Alex said like it was obvious. She wasn't fully getting them into this job, she wasn't going to make them see it to the end. She just wanted them to investigate enough to prove that she wasn't insane.

"Why would I-"

"Because you smell like a toilet," Sam informed him. "You getting in your car like that?"

"You're car it is then," Dean said as he passed his brother his keys. "Careful," he emphasized.

"Yeah, yeah," Sam brushed him off as he got into the driver's side. Reid and Dean started their way back towards the other car, with Derek stopping Alex on their way there.

"Are you ok?" she asked him worriedly. A million things could come out of this mouth right now and the one that she feared most was him telling her they couldn't be together anymore.

"You've been dealing with that," he was saying, not sure how to find the words, taking one of her hands. "Since..." He was at a complete loss over what he had just seen.

"Since I was four," she finished for him, then shrugged. "Yeah," she nodded. She was surprised but grateful when she felt him pull her hand to wrap her in his arms, holding onto her tightly.

"I'm sorry you couldn't tell me," he murmured. It was real, and so many things made sense now.

Her strained relationship with her family. The way she was really jumpy, especially at night. How she hated Halloween and horror movies. The nightmares she would have every so often. Her past was a terrifying one and he realized he didn't hide it from him; she had hid him from her past, to preserve what innocence was left after what all they already witnessed in the BAU.

"How about I tell you more about it at home," she offered as she pulled away. She was beyond thankful that he was willing to listen to her after all of this, that he was wanting to stay with her.

"Whenever you want to tell me is fine," he said, sorry for ever pushing her before.

"Derek."

"Hm?" he stopped as he had meant to get back to the car.

"I love you," she told him, his smile making her melt.

"I love you too," he said back.

**thanks for reading! :) i really hope you liked it, writing his reaction was so HARD! AH! but what do you think?! please tell me! and like i said there will be one more part after this! also...i never really meant for this to be a big full story just these four parts but i have other episodes from season one of supernatural that i kind of think about adding to this story just as one shots...thoughts? episode requests? let me know! :)**


	4. Hold My Hand

**thanks so much for the reviews, follows, and favorites! this is the last part i planned for this story! depending on the response i get i may continue into a few more parts (like one shots), no full story unfortunately due to time constraints but just a few other supernatural episodes i've thought about crossing over with this! anyway...hope you like this!**

**Part 4!**

**_Hold My Hand_**

_Flashback - 1983_

"Uncle Dave!" a four year old Alex squealed excitedly as her dad had picked her up before answering the door, his long time friend on the other side. The twins were being especially difficult to put down tonight, with Dean running circles around his mom in the kitchen right now as John had just caught Alex.

"Hey kiddo!" he greeted her warmly as she leaned forward from her dad and Dave took her from him, John grabbing his bag and leading the way into the house. "Where's your mom?" he asked, though Mary came through from the kitchen with Dean under her arm.

"Hey Dave," she smiled at him, holding Dean up a little. "Want another one?" she joked, though Dean was being extra squirmy and she set him on the floor. She didn't know why they were being so difficult tonight, though she now suspected it had something to do with Uncle Dave coming to visit.

"I'm sorry I got in so late," he apologized, his flight into Kansas City getting delayed on top of issues with the rental car place.

"Oh, it's ok," Mary assured him, John passing by to take Dave's bag to the guest room. While she was happy to have Dave there as he was John's best friend and best man at their wedding, she couldn't help but note that Carolyn hadn't made the trip with him. "Dean, Ally bug, can you show Uncle Dave the new baby?" she asked enthusiastically.

"He's still up?" Dave asked curiously, surprised he was even seeing his godchildren at this hour; part of this trip was because he hadn't been able to see the new baby yet due to his crazy work schedule.

"Oddly enough, the baby still goes down easier than these two," Mary joked as Dean was already flying up the stairs. Dave followed his lead, carrying Alex behind him. Dean lead the way to the nursery, climbing up the side of the crib and looking in on his still awake baby brother.

"Hi Sammy," Dean greeted him, showing his baby brother off to his uncle.

"Wow," Dave nodded, smiling at his new nephew; Alex was already starting to fall asleep on his shoulder. "How do you like being a big brother Dean?" Dave asked him.

"I already am one," Dean reminded him as he was a few minutes older than Alex.

"I can't believe I forgot," Dave joked but was still serious enough for the four year old to believe him.

"Daddy!" Dean exclaimed as he came to the doorway, running over to John who scooped him up.

"Hey buddy," John said, holding him close. Sam was starting to fall asleep and Alex was now out like a light in Dave's arms. "You sure you don't want to borrow one?" he joked. "Because we're seriously outnumbered now."

"Mmm, these kids need someone who can be home," Dave said, voice hinting sadness.

"That bad?" John asked, knowing his friend had a massive fight with his wife Carolyn, though things were strained for awhile; Dave just nodded. "Well, Mary's gone to bed. Help me get these two down and then I've got a drink with your name on it," he smiled.

"You've got yourself a deal," Dave said, heading out of the room first.

"Night Sam," John said as he turned off the light and left the room.

Dave wasn't sure when he had last fallen asleep on the couch after drinking but that's what happened tonight. He had admitted to John that he and Carolyn decided to split, leading to drink after drink. His eyes were hazy as they opened, doing a quick scan; John had fallen asleep as well in his chair. Too tired to move he settled back against the couch cushions, faintly hearing steps upstairs. _Mary must be up to feed the baby_, he thought to himself, drifting back to sleep. It was no more than a few seconds though before he bolted upright as he heard a scream.

"Mary?!" John called as he had heard it too, heading up the stairs with Dave following close behind. John lead the way to the baby's room first, looking around. He looked in on Sam who was awake but not fussing, just blinking his big eyes at his father. "You heard that, right?" he asked Dave who had stopped in the doorway, turning to him now.

"Yeah," Dave shrugged, not sure what had been going on. There was no way they both imagined it. "Maybe she had a nightmare," Dave offered as nothing seemed to be amiss upstairs, everything peaceful.

"Maybe," John nodded in agreement, turning to check on Sam one more time, reaching his hand in. Looking down at his hand he noticed blood droplets now, first on the bed and then on his skin. Looking up he spotted Mary, falling back in shock. Sam started screaming now as the fire broke out.

"John, we gotta go!" Dave said, snapping him back to focus. John grabbed Sam, rushing out into the hallway. That's where they nearly ran into the still sleepy-eyed twins.

"Daddy-" Dean started but was cut off by his baby brother being placed in his arms.

"Take your brother outside as fast as you can," he instructed. "Dean, Alex, go!"

"John!" Dave snapped at him, following him back into the nursery.

"Make sure they get outside!" John shouted back.

"We have to get out of here!" Dave said, grabbing him by his shirt.

* * *

Derek sat downstairs at the hotel, thinking over the details of the story Alex had told him.

It hadn't been long after the four of them got back to the police station that the Winchester twins got a call from Sam. It seemed that while he had been driving he had attracted an unwanted passenger in Constance Welch. With Dean having had just enough time to change before the call they took off to find their younger brother. Alex insisted they go to the hotel without her, that things would be fine and she would meet them there. Derek wondered if life was going to be like that now, even more worried about what she was running off to than he already was at the BAU.

She made it back to the hotel alone, going right to Derek's room. Even though it was late she knew he would be awake. And even after everything they went through earlier she wasted no time in starting to tell him the truth, telling him he could ask her any question he wanted. He had started by asking how she even got pulled into this life in the first place.

And now here he sat, long after she drifted off to sleep, at a table near the hotel bar. Though it was past closing time he still needed a place to sit and clear his head. He loved Alex, he knew that. This was all a lot to take in though. After all, as of a few hours ago, he didn't even believe in ghosts. Lost in thought, he barely noticed Rossi sitting across from him.

"Trouble sleeping?" he asked lightly and Derek let out a small laugh.

"Just a little," Derek commented. "I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around this I guess," he admitted; Rossi nodded understandingly.

"I get it," he agreed with him. "Look, if I had never seen..." He trailed off at the memory of Mary on the ceiling.

"...she told me you were there that night," Derek admitted; Rossi seemed a bit surprised.

"She told you about that night?" Rossi questioned. He knew Alex intended to let Derek into this part of her life now, to tell him more of the truth, but he didn't expect that part to come out so soon.

"She did," Derek nodded. "She, ah, also told me they got left with you a lot when they were young."

"Even with this job, I was the one that was around more," he said lightly, though the situation had played out so sadly as the years wore on. He was trying to read Derek's expression now, though he was coming up empty. "She's been through a lot Morgan," he told him now. This life was hard, so he couldn't exactly blame Derek if he wanted out. On the other hand, he had adored Alex since she was a kid so he wasn't keen to see her hurt.

"I won't put her through more," Derek assured him. "I love her." They had said it on the bridge to each other for the first time earlier, but it felt good to say again, especially now that she openly reciprocated.

"She loves you too, has for awhile" Rossi informed him and Derek smiled a little. "It's just with her life-"

"Al?" Derek cut him off, seeing her nearly fall out of the elevator. She was disheveled, clearly just waking a moment ago, her eyes panicked. Barely noticing them at the table, she was pulling her jacket on, still wearing the leggings and shirt that she had put on for bed.

"Alex!" Rossi called after her, both of them rushing over and cutting her off at the door.

"Al, baby, what's going on?" Derek asked worriedly as he looked her over. "Where are you going?" he asked as he noticed the keys in her hand.

"I have to leave, I-" She was clearly shaken but neither man knew by what.

"Can you sit first?" Derek tried to insist but she just shook her head.

"Alex, what happened?" Rossi asked.

"Dean called, I," she couldn't stop thinking about what happened, how life changed so suddenly. One day she was living in DC happily with her boyfriend and the next... "I have to get to Palo Alto."

"What. Happened," Rossi was saying seriously, scared himself now. Derek could tell he loved those three kids like they were his; Alex started to break down in tears.

"There was a fire, at Sam's apartment," she started off. "The boys are fine but..." She squeezed her eyes shut like she was trying to block it all out; as if reliving her mother's death once that night by telling Derek about it wasn't enough. "It's his girlfriend Jess, she died just like my mom did."

"...what?" Rossi asked in disbelief; Derek recalled how Alex said they never knew what killed Mary.

"The ceiling, the fire, everything," Alex was listing as she wiped at her eyes. "It's the same signature, it's the thing that killed my mom and it's back." She had stopped crying but her hands were still shaking.

"You're not driving," Derek told her seriously, taking the keys from her easily.

"You don't get to decide that," she told him, taking it as him telling her she couldn't go. "I have to leave, I-"

"Al," he tried to stop her.

"You have to let me leave," she said now, voice racing. "What if it comes for you next?" He realized what she really meant by leave now.

"You don't get to decide that," he echoed her sentiment from before.

"Derek."

"I'm in this," he told her seriously, holding the keys up. "And I'm driving you both to Palo Alto, all right?" Alex didn't put up a fight as the three of them left for the car.

* * *

It was morning when they got to Palo Alto, pulling the car into a small diner parking lot that Dean told his sister to meet them at. Dean came over to find them, having parked on the opposite side while Sam waited in the car. Alex jumped out of the car first, running over to the sidewalk and hugging Dean tightly. He hugged her back, knowing she was scared; he would be lying if he said he wasn't scared too.

"Wish I would have gotten this greeting yesterday," he said lightly, unable to help himself; deflecting was his default. Alex pulled away, nudging him slightly.

"Where's he at?" she asked.

"In the car," Dean told them. "He, ah, isn't up for this I don't think."

"It would overwhelm him," Alex agreed. "What do we do now Dean?"

"What do _we_ do?" he asked her, looking between all of them, a little surprised. "What, are we gonna come back to DC and do this your way? No offense," he told Rossi and Derek right away; they waved him off that it was ok.

"Can't be any worse than doing it the way we did growing up," Alex reminded him. "In case you haven't noticed, it's back."

"You're damn right I noticed," he snapped at her. "And when you didn't answer your phone the first time, I thought it came for you too," he informed her.

"...sorry," she apologized, knowing they were no good snapping at each other.

"Look," he sighed now. "We're lucky I got him to sit till you got here. The coordinates dad left are for a town in Colorado, Sam thinks if we find dad he'll know something."

"Colorado?" Alex asked, confused. "I can't go to Colorado."

"...I didn't ask," Dean pointed out to her; now she was irritated for a different reason.

"Why not?" Alex asked.

"Alex, you have a life," he reminded her, motioning to Derek. "What did you tell me on the phone yesterday? A job, a boyfriend, and a townhouse?" he listed as he quoted her.

"I can't," she agreed with him. "But you guys can't just take off and-"

"I think you should go," Derek told her.

"What?" Alex asked him in shock. "Derek, I can't just-"

"Come here," he told her, leading her closer to the car so they could talk privately. "You need to go with your brothers Al."

"But, the BAU, I can't-" She was trying to reason that work wouldn't let her leave to avoid talking about them. Did he want her to go?

"I think the team will understand," Derek told her. Surely with as many strings as Rossi pulled to get her this job, he and Hotch could do just as good of a job to cover her leave of absence.

"And what about us?" she asked softly.

"I don't want you to go," he clarified. "Not at all." He wasn't sure he would sleep the entire time she was gone. "But, this is the thing you've been after your whole life. You have to go," he reiterated. She pulled him close now to kiss him.

"One case," she told him as he let her go. "This one case with my brothers to track my dad and then I'm home," she compromised.

"Deal," he agreed as he kissed her again. "I love you Alex."

"I love you too," she told him, hugging him quickly then letting go before it became too hard. She hurried back over to Dean who had figured what happened and nodded at Derek in thanks before they left to find their dad. Derek and Rossi sat in the car for a moment in silence, not even starting it yet.

"She'll be ok," Rossi assured him now.

"It's just one case," Derek echoed what she said before and Rossi nodded as Derek started the car.

What Derek didn't know was one case would become two as their dad wasn't in Colorado, with them taking off for a job in Wisconsin shortly after. She called while they were on their third job because they needed help investigating a plane crash in Pennsylvania. They went over the border to Ohio for a job after that, with Sam and Dean dropping her in DC before running off for a job in Saint Louis involving some of Sam's friends from school.

What he also didn't realize though was how none of that mattered once she was home after being gone two months. She was barely in the door that night before he had his arms around her.

"I'm so sorry," she murmured against him as he held her tight, breathing in his scent. "I shouldn't have been gone so long."

"We worked so much, I was barely here," he assured her, though if she was home she obviously would have worked those cases with him.

"All right if I stay awhile?" she asked him with a smile as she pulled away.

"More than all right," he smiled back, kissing her now.

**thanks for reading! :) i really hope you liked this! for anyone wondering which episodes of supernatural i've thought of doing i've thought of doing the one where they go back to lawrence, the one where they go to chicago and john's there, and something involving the accident at the end of season one/john's deal in season two...anyway, let me know what you thought about this!**


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